“You know I've almost always been in a relationship,” 
         I whispered, letting the darkness  
         consume my words and deliver them 
         to my boyfriend lying next to me. 
         Thinking back to this moment in time,
         I still ponder this announcement...

Where did my mind drift once I realized 

that I had always been in a relationship 

dear reader? To the boys I had

actually dated of

course. 

And then came Boyfriend...

What does this boyfriend of mine bring to the table?

"mutuality (a balanced integration of concerns with autonomy and connection)” (Neff, 316). 

Be that as it may...

 “there are no pure forms of independence 
and interdependence,” (Raeff, 136).
                                       

Independence and interdependence are inseparable...dependence, in balance, is a good thing since it will only strengthen the independent personality.

“If you want to be independent, you’re not ready for a relationship. 

A marriage, a family, whatever, is a unit. 

You have to be independent as a part of that relationship.” 

                                                                         -Heath Shepard

Even so, my heart aches for him. Maybe it’s good to ache for him, because in reality I ache for the way I felt when I was with him. I ache to have a friend that I am able to tell anything to, that has the answers, that quietly pushes me to do things I wouldn't normally do, to stand by me, to encourage me, that is proud of me, who is strong, and that I can gain strength from. I want to go back to having an equal, feeling independent, yet as one.